Leadership can be one of the most exciting adventures of life if you are gifted to lead. However, it doesn’t take long to understand that there are times when you find yourself standing alone.
I can remember my very first staff meeting. I had been hired to be the Children’s Ministry Director and I came to the table with a long list of questions. The meeting began with a time of prayer and then immediately turned to the business at hand. An agenda had been presented and the items on it were huge! Some would determine the direction of the church; others were problems needing resolution that had the potential for heartache; and some required budget adjustments demanding give and take on the part of every ministry team.
There was no time to focus on my unknowns or ease my insecurities. In fact, within just a few days I came to realize that the staff had hired me to be the resident expert. They had no plans or ideas for kids, and although they were extremely supportive and great listeners, they were looking to me for their next course of action!
Staff meetings were not going to be a place for me to learn the How-Tos of ministry, but they could be a place of encouragement, support, sharing ideas and problem solving.
This realization drove me to my knees and began my habit of praying inside our walk-in closet. My children were little then and constantly wanting to be near, so I frequently took “time outs” to talk to the Lord. It became my sanctuary—my pleading ground—the place where I sought direction and unloaded all of my fears, insecurities, hopes and dreams. It was my time with God to seek Him audibly, sometimes gutturally and then listen patiently.
In addition, I began to network with other children’s directors. I visited their programs and took them out to lunch. I called them on the phone and asked them about their leadership, organizational chart, budget issues, curriculum, safety standards, programming, volunteers, pastoral staff, successes and failures. A select few became a ministry circle for me—a safe haven away from my own experience where I could openly seek advice and counsel. I also chose a mentor—a woman who already had fourteen years of experience before me, who was raising children now older than mine, and who held more responsibility in the church than I could ever imagine. And I added two trusted friends to the group—people who knew me, were for me and would be honest to me about my shortcomings and strengths.
But prayer and people were not enough. I needed to grow.
And so I began reading leadership books, ministry books, devotionals and Bible studies. I underlined, wrote in the margins, dog-eared corners, printed out copies for discussions with others and attended conferences. Most of the time, I studied alone (which is difficult because I’m an extravert and too much time alone in my head causes chaos), but then I would share ideas and check for understanding, seek out agreement and disagreement. The arguments of others were exhilarating and often solidified a point of view for me.
I did these things in desperation. There was no plan, but the outcome created:
CONFIDENCE – to move forward
WISDOM – to know how to move forward
COLLABORATION – to know what worked when moving forward
INSPIRATION – to know how to lead others to move forward
One of my favorite leadership devotionals from early on has been The Servant Leader by Ken Blanchard and Phil Hodges. I once used it as a core study on a ministry leadership weekend. Its words challenged our thoughts and became part of our language. It refocused our efforts and developed core values among us on how we would lead. The book sits on my shelf today as a reference and a reminder to keep patterning my leadership after Jesus.
- Transforming my HEART – my motivations and intentions
- Transforming my HEAD – my assumptions and methods
- Transforming my HANDS – and the application of my leadership behavior
- Transforming my HABITS – through daily recalibration and a commitment to a vision
Never lead alone.
- God is waiting for you to seek His counsel. Talk to Him in prayer.
- There are others who have gone before you, who struggle with the same issues and can offer guidance. Include trusted friends who know you well and will speak truth into your life and leadership.
- Good information is at your fingertips. Search. Read. Listen. Discuss. Learn and Apply.
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